Old Mc Hiei had a farm
by Ralph1
Summary: Hiei moves to New Jersey to work on a farm he inherited from his great uncle Henry, He incounters some problems though. **should read Love Conquers Sue by Ramdom author person to understand** R
1. prologue

Old Mc Hiei Had A Farm  
  
Yes I DON't own yu yu it wolud be great if i did but at the moment i can't affored the shirt i want ;.; but anyways If I did, do you think I would be wasting my weekend writing a fan fic? our generation is a buch of assholes, geez.   
  
  
Prologue  
  
  
random voice: Hiei, What are you doing here?  
  
Hiei: Who was that'  
  
Hiei looked up from his strange sandwich that was labeled turkey' but only saw a bunch of giggly American school girls getting of one of those contraptions,  
  
Hiei: what had Kurama called them? Oh yes planes.'   
  
random voice again: Hiei what are you doing here?   
  
Hiei jumped around.   
  
Hiei: Oh it's you Yusuke" (sounding less than thrilled) I'm going to some place called New Jersey.' But why are you here?  
  
Yusuke: Well me, Kuwabara, and Kurama are here too see Kurama's mom off.   
  
the prettiest red-haired guy you have ever seen standing on Yusuke's right: She's going to visit her sister who's about to have twins   
  
annoting freakish voice: Hey Shrimp why are YOU goin' to Jersey?!   
  
Hiei: Hello Kuwabara, do you really want me to beat you up in front of all these girls?   
  
Kuwabara: What girls?!   
  
Hiei: The one's staring at you making a scene.   
  
Kuwabara turned around and saw the american girls staring at him, when they saw him looking they burst into giggles.   
  
Kuwabara: *turning completely red and slinking down.*  
  
Kurama: But why ARE you going to New Jersey Hiei?   
  
Hiei: I'm going to a funeral, my long lost uncle henry or something, any ways I'm in his will.   
  
Yusuke: First of all I'm surprised that you know what a will is Hiei. Second I gotta see this when does your plane leave?   
  
Hiei: Er at two.   
  
Yusuke: OK only half an hour. Kuwabara, Kurama you guys wanna come? My treat.   
  
Kuwabara:   
  
Kurama: I suppose I should go to keep you all out of trouble, so OK I'll go said Kurama.   
  
Yusuke :Great I'll go get the tickets.   



	2. chapter 1 Hiei gets a WHAT!

  
  
Chapter 1  
  
Hiei: How can you stand this?   
  
Kurama: * smiles and turns to look out the window*  
  
Yusuke : (asleep) *just rolls over. *  
  
Kuwabara: *looking green* "I think I'm gonna be sick . . ."   
  
Hiei: "Ugh, Kuwabara that's disgusting!" *disturbed look* "Let me off this hunk of metal hell  
  
Kurama: "Hiei, calm yourself, all the other passengers are still afraid from when you threatened to cut the flight attendant's head off!"  
  
Hiei: "Well she deserved it she forgot the ice"  
  
Kurama: *rolled his eyes* Well will you hold on to yourself for a little while longer? The plane will land soon."  
  
When they all got off the plane every one stood out of their way. Hiei went straight to the luggage pickup to get his sword, he threw a hissy-fit when they made him check it.  
While he got his sword they looked around and saw some guy holding a sign that read HeiE.   
When Kurama went up and asked the man who he was waiting for he said "a fellow named Hiei from Japan"   
  
They went with the man who's name turned out to be Jacob, (American's names are so boring.)   
He took them to a chicken farm with an old sign over it saying "Mc. Henry's Farm"   
where about twenty people who's random pars looked like Hiei.   
  
Yusuke: "Whoa, Hiei I didn't know you had so much family!  
  
Hiei: "Er, I think their all my uncles family" :blushing slightly:   
  
Kuwabara: "Hey! did Yukina come?!  
Hiei: "No, luckily she is away learning healing techniques.  
Random Voice: "Would everyone please be seated in the barn, mind the chickens though ya. Ok Ok everyone settle down now, I'm Barbara Joe, And I'll be reading poor ol' Henry's will, So listen' up.   
Mary Sue , hon you'll be gettin' Hen's condo out in Florida,  
Billy Bob . . .   
. . . three hours later . . . And last but not least   
Hiei, Baby you'll be gettin Henry's most prized possession, this here chicken farm. BR  



	3. chapter 2 Kurama and Hiei get some news

Chapter 2 in which Kurama and Hiei get bad news  
  
Kuwabara.: Bah Hahahahahaha..  
  
Hiei: Why Me! , Why?!  
  
back at the motel room. ::Knock knock::   
  
Kuwabara: "What the? Who's there?"   
  
Some old guy: It's Korky the chicken feeder. I wanted to see if you youngsters wanted a tour of Hiei's new farm.  
  
Yusuke: Well Hiei you up to it?   
  
Hiei: Oh fine but it better not take long.  
  
Korky: Great! open the door then  
  
Hiei opens the door and . . .   
  
Hiei: GAHHHHHHHHH what the hell?! It's Kurama . . . in 10,000 years!  
  
Kurama: *looking confused comes out of the bedroom* What are you yelling about Hiei?  
AHHHHHH  
  
Yusuke: *snicker snicker* Hey Kurama, he has your hair.  
  
Because he DID have Kurama's hair, down to every last gleaming strand.  
  
Korky: What are you all looking at? A person would think you've seen a demon (not seeing the irony in this.)  
  
Kurama: Well sir my friends were just startled because we look so muck alike, you and I.  
  
Korky: Why yeah you do have the family look to you. Would you happen to know a Shuuichi from Japan? he's my great nephew 8 times removed.  
  
Kurama: I am Shuuichi.  
  
Korky: really?! that's great, I knew it.   
  
Korky: OK then lets go!  
  
Kuwabara:   
  
::BAM:: (Kuwabara on the ground and Yusuke looking happy.)  
  
Kuwabara:   
  
Korky leads the gang outside the motel to a tractor, with a wagon hitch to the back.  
  
Kuwabara: Why is this thing here?  
  
Yusuke: *slaps forehead*  
  
Korky: Why, sonny ain't you ever seen a wagon before?  
  
Kuwabara: Well yeah, but only on a haunted hay ride, is that what were going on?!  
  
Yusuke: *rubs temple* No dumb ass were going on a tour of Hiei's new farm well it's not exactly new   
  
Kuwabara: *looking like a kid who's candy got taken away fine but i get to ride in the wagon.  
  
Korky: But that's where your al...  
  
Yusuke: OK Kuwabara you can ride in the wagon.  
  
It takes them awhile but the eventually get to the farm . . .   
  
Korky: OK everyone were here! now for your first part of the tour, The corn field! this is where we grow corn to feed the chickens. We also. . .   
  
Yusuke: Hiei, I've been wanting to ask you, just how the hell are you related to humans?!  
  
Hiei: I was wondering that also, so i beat up the little geeky kid ya know the one down the street from Kurama? Yeah so I beat him up and decided he would help me finding out how this happened. So he did a little research on his rectangular gizmo and found my family tree, unfortunately after he found it he had an accident by falling of the roof of a building.  
  
Kurama:   
  
Hiei: But the information was useful, it turns out my great great aunt Hedge married the Henry man who died, but she died 10 years ago.   
  
Korky: That's right young man, poor ol' Helga, she was a sweet old women, had such a temper, it was like she spit ice at you when she yelled. I remember the day she married my brother. . .   
  
Kurama: YOUR BROTHER?!  
  
Yusuke: Hiei that means you and Kurama are related  
  
Hiei: IT REALLY IS GAY INCEST! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH  
***(must read love conquers sue by Random author person to understand)***  
  
Kuwabara:   
  
Hiei: *eyes dart back and forth nervously* Nothing nothing at all.  
  
*** changed so Rachel wouldn't kill me!


	4. chapter 3 Why DID the chicken cross the

Chapter Three Why DID the chicken cross the road?  
  
Korky: Now what are you all talkin' about back there?  
  
All: *angelic faces* Uhh nothing.   
  
Kurama: *whispering* Yusuke, what are you talking about?!  
  
Yusuke: (with a smug look) I think you and Hiei know what I'm talking about, just remember Mary Sue *evil grin* :}   
**(once again referenced to love conquers sue by random author person.)  
  
  
Hiei: (looking slightly shocked but trying to hide it whispers under his breath) damn human  
  
Kuwabara: (loud as usual) Yurameshe what are you guys talking about?  
  
Yusuke: Oh COME ON Kuwabara! you haven't realized it yet?  
  
Kuwabara: Realized what?  
  
Hiei & Kurama:   
  
Korky: Shuuichi everything ok back there?  
  
Kurama: Yes it's fine.  
  
Kuwabara: Hey dose anyone have some sunflower seeds? I got this really big craving for some.  
  
Kurama: Sure Kuwabara, here. *pulls a bag of sunflowers from his hair.   
  
Yusuke: *slaps forehead* Where did those come from?  
  
Kurama: I always keep things in my hair.  
  
Yusuke: Do you have a rose in there? Like at the tournament?  
  
Kurama: *pulls out perfect rose* (like always.) Yes I always keep a spare . . . just in case.  
  
Yusuke: What else do you got in there?  
  
Kurama: Oh all sorts of things * pulls out a baggy of random seeds*  
  
Korky: This here farm used to be very prosperous but then one day some chicken's a started to go missing'. Some of the other workers say that at night you can see them cross the road, but we don't know why. It's been a big problem lately  
  
Hiei: (very sarcastically) Has it really?  
  
Korky: (missing the sarcasm) It sure has, it's hard to run a chicken farm with no chickens.  
  
Yusuke: *roll's eyes* Have you ever tried LOOKING for the chickens?  
  
Korky: yes, well no, I guess no one HAS looked for them on the other side of the road.  
  
*Hiei, Kurama, and Yusuke all fall back and you see their hands and feet twitch*  
  
Hiei: Well why the hell not?!  
  
Korky: Well I don't rightly know, see NO ONE ever go's across the road, in town there are roomers about a huge machine that'll zap you if you get too close. At night you can see a yellow glowing.  
  
Korky: Well then, who wants a tour of the chicken farm?  
  
Hiei: Me oh, I do, please pick me. (sounding less than thrilled.)  
  
Kurama: Oh stop it Hiei, we would love to go on a tour of the barn Korky.  
  
Yusuke: Hey where did Kuwabara go?  
  
Kurama: I have no idea.  
  
Korky: All right everyone back up on the wagon and lets get going. Hey Shuuichi will your freakish friend will be all right?  
  
Yusuke: Don't worry about him he probably got lost or something.  
  
Korky: Off we go.  
  
Hours later after several long long tours that no one cared about, Hiei, Kurama, and Yusuke are back at the motel wishing the had some dinner when. . .   
  
Yusuke: Hey I smell fried chicken!  
  
Hiei: No you don't you've just spent way to much time at a chicken farm and are hungry.  
  
Yusuke: No I'm serious, I smell fried chicken.  
  
Hiei: OK Yusuke I believe you.  
  
*Kuwabara walks in holding a bucket of fried chicken*  
  
Kuwabara: Hey guys wacha doing?  
  
Yusuke: Hey where were yo. . . WHERE DID YOU GET FRIED CHICKEN?!!  
  
Kuwabara: (With his mouth full) I found this KFC across the street, god I love chicken!  
  
Kurama: Across the street?!  
  
Hiei: Well I think I know where to find the missing chickens.  
  
Kuwabara: What missing chickens?  
  
Kurama: We'll go tomorrow and find out what's happening.


	5. Chapter 4 The road is crossed for lack o...

Chapter 4 The road is crossed (for lack of a better name)  
  
Kurama:   
  
Yusuke: *rolls over*  
  
Kurama: Yusuke! GET UP!  
  
Yusuke: Wha? What is it Kurama ?  
  
Kurama: Will you please get up! We're almost ready to leave.  
  
Yusuke: Where are we going?  
  
Hiei: (sounding aggravated) Across the road to find the missing chickens.  
  
Yusuke: I forgot, oh joy sounds like fun. (sounding sarcastic)  
  
Kuwabara: Hurry up, I'm starved and there's no real food anywhere!  
  
Yusuke: I'm coming I'm coming.   
  
When they reached the spot where they were going to cross the road they found a hysterical Korky.  
  
Korky: I.I...I DON'T WANNA GO!!!!!!  
  
all: O.O;;  
  
Korky: I don't want to see what they've done to my poor baby's  
  
Kurama: Korky, I'm sure they'll be fine so lets go over there and find out Why they went over there.  
  
Korky: *sniff sniff* Your right, lets go.  
  
They slowly set off across the road, but this isn't a normal road. It seems like it just keeps goin and going.  
  
Kuwabara: Doesn't it seem weird to you guys that we haven't seen any cars at all?  
  
Yusuke: Actually we haven't seen any life forms at all besides our selves.  
  
Korky: Well not a lot of people come out here.  
  
Hiei: Really? I hadn't noticed (Said with a lot of sarcasm.)  
  
Yusuke: How long have we been walking? It seems like hours.  
  
Kurama: It has been hours, three hours actually.  
  
All: *groan*   
  
Yusuke: Korky do you know how wide this road is?  
  
Korky: Uh don't rightly know, I've never met anyone who's crossed it.  
  
Yusuke: *sigh* Ya know what you sh-  
  
Kuwabara: *points to something on the ground in front of him*  
  
Hiei: What is it?  
  
Yusuke: Let me have a look - *looks* - hey it's a trail of chicken prints, the must lead across the road! Lets follow them.  
(yes that was very scooby doo-ish don't hurt me)  
  
They followed the trail till eventually . . .   
  
Yusuke: HEY! I see something up ahead.  
  
By this time it was dark so the glowing light was clear.  
  
Kurama: Yes, i see it too.  
  
Kuwabara: Lets hurry up I'm tired.  
  
They all (except for Korky) started to fun straight for the lights.  
  
Hiei: Ha beat you Yusuke  
  
Yusuke: That's not fair, Kuwabara's big feet tripped me.  
  
Kuwabara: Hey I did NO-  
  
Kurama: Hush! Look!  
  
*They all look up to the lights...*  
  
Kurama: A KFC? in the middle of nowhere?  
  
Yusuke: *laughs way loud* A KFC?! that's so funny!  
  
Kuwabara: I could have told you where his was.  
  
Yusuke: Did you seriously walk all this way to get some fried chicken?!  
  
Kuwabara: What are you talking about? The farm is about 5 min that way. *points to the opposite direction that they came from*  
  
Yusuke: well this is where the chicken prints led us so I guess we should go in.  
  
Kurama: Wait where's Korky?  
  
Korky: I'm here!  
  
Kuwabara: What the? Where? *looks around*  
  
Korky: Right here!   
  
Everyone: *looks around and sees him next to the KFC entrance*  
  
Korky: I haven't had some good fried chicken in a long time!  
  
Yusuke: Living on a chicken farm? That's ironic.  
  
Kurama: Really, Now lets go in.  
  
They all enter, very slowly and unsure-  
  
Creepy-like voice: Welcome to KFC, How may I help you?  
  
They all turn and look at the speaker  
  
Yusuke: Holy Shit it's Colonel Sanders!  
  
Kurama:   
  
Hiei:   
  
Kuwabara:   
  
Korky: Do I know you?  
  
  
A.N. -Ok yes that was horrid, but not that bad right *crickets* right?! OK Ok I see how it is R&R please


End file.
